OS X Leopard will create no new jobs

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Tim Gaden12 December 2006, 1:59 PM

Shock research shows that Apple's new operating system, Leopard, will create no new jobs when it is launched early next year.

 

Researchers have discovered that Apple's new operating system, codenamed Leopard, will create 0 new jobs when it is launched early next year.

This research (which was not commissioned by Apple) stands in sharp contrast to the findings of an industry report (commissioned by Microsoft) that Vista's release will create 100,000 new jobs in tech support and help desk positions.

Commenting on the impact Vista will have, Senior Vice President of Software Engineering at Apple Bertrand Serlet was not surprised:

"...underneath it's still Windows. It still has the registry at its core. It still has DLL hell and it still has this well-loved feature called activation. If you can't innovate, you have to imitate, but it's never quite as good."

Apple CEO Steve Jobs took a similar view ("Our friends up north [Microsoft] spend over five billion dollars on research and development and all they seem to do is copy Google and Apple") but was more charitable, finding the root cause in a lack of vision and life experience on the part of Microsoft's CEO:

"I wish him the best, I really do. I just think he and Microsoft are a bit narrow. He'd be a broader guy if he had dropped acid once or gone off to an ashram when he was younger."

While Vista seems set to impact on the economy by creating more IT support jobs to fix the broken or frozen computers of other employees, research shows that Apple will take a different path.

Apple is well known for its award-winning innovation. With Leopard's release Apple will continue an innovative strategy of impacting on the economy by increasing individual productivity. It will let people get more of their own work done, faster and smarter, without the need for endless calls to tech support, compatibility hassles, driver problems or time wasted defending their PCs from viruses and trojans.

A spokesperson for Apple was unable to say how this on-going productivity boost for every Mac owner compared to the US$ 70 billion ($89 billion) Vista is expected to inject into the economy. 

[editor's note - if you hadn't twigged up to this point, this article is satire] 


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dicklacara:

All this ejaculation over Vista reminds me of some ancient wisdom:

The Palo Alto Postulate*:

The customer will pay more for less of worse...

The California Corollary*:

...because worse is bad, the customer wants less of it, and is willing to pay more to get what he wants!

*First presented in 1973, in the IBM Cafeteria (while waiting in line for the morning coffee fix) at 1501 California Ave, Palo Alto, CA.


29 February 2008, 8:29 PM (9 months ago)report abuse Send to a friend reply

JB:

100k new jobs. Now how much this jobs will pay?????????????
Lots a jobs is available the problem is, find people that Know what they are doing.

29 February 2008, 8:29 PM (9 months ago)report abuse Send to a friend reply

Anonymous:

DEVELOPERS you morons. Vista ships with a set of frameworks and development tools that are among the most powerful ever written - platforms that are not only backwards compatible with XP but even run on other systems like your precious macs. With the exception of MS's own initatives to get this stuff out to you there is nothing that even comes close to approximating WPF, .NET, XAML, etc, on OS X. While that may not make a huge impact on your blogging about the jeans that Steve Jobs just wore at the latest apple marketing festival, the other 90% of the planet actually understands that a pc with windows is actually an incredible useful tool that can do lots of useful things. Things that people can get paid for.

Of course, not being one of those insanely annoying mac fanatics who can't say something positive about their computer without injecting some childish retort about microsoft/vista/windows, I don't see the words "new hardware, software or services businesses" as being the same thing as "tech support and help desk positions", either.

29 February 2008, 8:29 PM (9 months ago)report abuse Send to a friend reply

Anonymous:

The difference in frameworks are many:
1. the frameworks built into Mac OS X scale the way many UNIX tools scale.
2. the frameworks built into Mac OS X have been battle tested for almost 2 decades, much of it in Fortune 50 compnaies. And much of it in GrandMa's house. One system for both.
3. the frameworks built into Mac OS X are backed by a GUI building kit that allows developers to bult the best software on the planet.

4. the frameworks built into VISTA are closed, clunky and rarely CONFORM TO IETF standards and other compliance tests.
5. the frameworks built into VISTA lock you to VISTA, whereas many of Mac OS X frameworks allow you to swap to LINUX if you need.

Lastly, for everything you mention WPF, .NET, XAML there is a similar way in Mac OS X. It may not be better in your eyes. Different for sure... but there is nothing you cannot do with WebObjects. I am curious are any of the top10 or 50 eCommerce sites built on .NET, from what I can tell all the big commerce sites use some form of UNIX (or Linux). Mac OS X fits in very well here.

the article is not about interesting development, it is about how much VISTA is going to cost those who deploy it. 70B$ apparently.

Now those are support cost... ie revenue lost.

29 February 2008, 8:34 PM (9 months ago)report abuse